Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice

Many years back I had this quote tattooed. Which led to a remarkable question by a total stranger – is this a reminder to yourself, or a description of who you are?

The question made me reflect for quite some time. The answer is – probably both. I am a firm believer in driving my own career, and generally life, through the choices I make. And I am not a fan of a “wait and see” take on things, or, worse, the expectation that the world around me needs to adapt to match my goals and preferences.

However, at work and as a coach, I regularly face irritation and frustration about careers not progressing as expected or a lack of support by others, mainly the line manager. There is surprisingly little self-awareness that others are not obliged to do what we want them to do, and little willingness to get into the driver’s seat rather than waiting for others to act on our behalf.

Being passive and waiting for others to initiate the desired change puts one’s destiny into someone else’s hand. And is a recipe for failure. I typically challenge this with a simple question “What could person x do to destroy your future career prospects?”, which causes irritation at first but works wonders most of the time to realize that there is always a choice, always a way out, and that the only person in charge is oneself.